Bringing up Children

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Since Islam is a religion of life, it has provided life-giving laws and teachings for humans, so they can correctly establish and strengthen their relationships at all levels. These teachings ensure that no aspect of an individual’s or society’s life remains free from divine guidance and the teachings of the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him). Thus, by learning and applying this knowledge and program, humans will experience the good life (hayat tayyibah) that their Lord has deemed worthy for them.

One of these comprehensive teachings is how to raise and educate children because children are a trust from Allah, a blessing[1], and a sign of His existence. Parents are responsible for their health, growth, and upbringing[2]. As the Holy Quran says, they will be rewarded for good upbringing and punished[3] for bad upbringing of their children.[4]

Based on this, the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) has taught us that parents have specific rights over their children, and they must be diligent in fulfilling them. For instance, some of these rights according to the sayings of the Prophet include:

  1. Honoring the Child:
    The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Honor your children and treat them well, for you will be forgiven.”[5]

  2. Choosing a Good Name:
    The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: “The right of a child over his father is that… he gives him a good name.” He also said: “The first gift a father can give to his child is a good name.”[6][7]

  3. Showing Affection to the Child:
    The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Whoever kisses his child, Allah writes goodness for him.” He also said: “Kiss your children often…”[8][9]

    It is narrated that one day, the Prophet (peace be upon him) was kissing Hasan and Husayn (may Allah be pleased with them). A person saw this and said: “I have ten children and have never kissed any of them.” The Prophet was deeply upset, his face turned red, and he said: “Whoever does not show affection to our young ones and does not respect our elders, is not from us.”[10]

  4. Child’s Hygiene:
    The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Wash your children from impurities, for Satan smells impurities, which causes fear in the child during sleep and disturbs the angels accompanying him.”[11]

  5. Child’s Nutrition:
    The proper nutrition of a child, especially during infancy, is highly emphasized in Islam, and much value is placed on the mother who nurses her child.

    In this regard, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “When the mother completes breastfeeding, a great angel addresses her: ‘You have been forgiven by Allah.’”[12]

  6. Raising and Educating the Child:
    The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Whoever teaches the Qur’an to his child, on the Day of Judgment, both the father and mother will be called, and they will be dressed in two garments of light that make the faces of the people of Paradise glow.”[13]

    Also, he refers to the great reward of parents who have taught their children the Qur’an and raised them according to Islam, with love for the Prophet and for Ali (peace be upon them), saying: “On the Day of Judgment, all people will look at that father and mother and regard them with reverence.”[14]

  7. Teaching Defensive and Social Skills:
    The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Teach your children swimming and archery.”[15]

    He also told Amir al-Mu’minin Ali (peace be upon him): “O Ali! The right of the child over his father is that he teaches him good manners and places him in a suitable position.”[16]

  8. Marriage of the Child:
    The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “The right of a child over his father is that when he reaches puberty, he should choose a spouse for him.”[17]

  9. Supporting the Child:
    The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “May Allah have mercy on the one who helps his child in doing good.” It was asked: “How can one help his child in doing good?” He replied: “He should accept what his child can do and forgive him for what is difficult for him.”[18]

  10. Maintaining Justice Among Children:
    The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Be just among your children, just as you would like to be treated with justice in kindness and favor.”[19]

    He said to a man who had two children and kissed only one of them: “Why did you not show equality between them?”[20]

    The Prophet (peace be upon him) also said: “Treat your children equally when giving them gifts.”[21]

Indeed, this extensive attention to children and the comprehensive upbringing they receive in Islamic teachings is because children are the men and women of the future. Therefore, if they are raised correctly, human society will progress properly. Otherwise, humanity will fall into decline.

(Excerpt from the book Mafatih al-Hayat by Ayatollah Jawadi Amoli (with summarization and additions))

Islamic – Shia Website: Roshd

Footnotes:
[1] (Surah An-Nahl, verse72)
[2] (Surah At-Tahrim, verse 6)
[3] (Surah Maryam, verse 55)
[4] (Surah Ash-Shura, verse 45)
[5] Makarim al-Akhlaq, p. 222
[6] Al-Kafi, vol. 6, p. 49
[7] Al-Nawadir, p. 6
[8] Al-Kafi, vol. 6, p. 49
[9] Rawdat al-Wa’izin, p. 369
[10] Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 43, p. 282-283
[11] Uyun Akhbar al-Ridha (as), vol. 2, p. 69
[12] Amali al-Saduq, p. 411-412
[13] Al-Kafi, vol. 6, p. 49
[14] Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 89, p. 32
[15] Al-Kafi, vol. 6, p. 47
[16] Man La Yahduruhu al-Faqih, vol. 4, p. 372
[17] Rawdat al-Wa’izin, p. 369
[18] Kitab al-Sara’ir, vol. 3, p. 595
[19] Makarim al-Akhlaq, p. 220
[20] Al-Ja’fariyat, p. 55
[21] Al-Khilaf, al-Tusi, vol. 3, p. 564