“You must have noticed the statistics on social and global issues by now. Violence, separations, murders, suicides, family problems, discrimination, wars, and dozens of other problems and dilemmas that humanity has been trying to find solutions for. But where do the roots of all these problems lie, and what is the real solution? Addressing this issue requires a brief introduction:
‘Self-love’ means ‘self-friendship,’ and ‘love for others’ means ‘other-friendship.’ These two natural desires were created by divine wisdom in the nature of all human beings. Each of these desires has a significant role in achieving human happiness and peace and must be fulfilled in its own place.
Self-love is a common instinct of both animals and humans, which acts as a preservative for oneself and one’s personal interests. This tendency makes people focused on themselves and compels them to attract what they perceive as beneficial to themselves and repel what they see as harmful and unpleasant.
Other-love, on the other hand, is a uniquely human trait and one of the highest human tendencies, contributing to loving people and caring for others. This tendency makes people attentive to others beyond themselves and adds a touch of humanity to life. Reviving this spiritual attraction brings society closer together, promotes a sense of cooperation and empathy among individuals, and allows them to share in each other’s joys and sorrows.[1]
The instinct of self-love, like other animal instincts, has deep roots in human nature; it blooms naturally, grows rapidly, and requires no support or nurturing to become strong. However, the tendency of other-love, like other high human tendencies, doesn’t become strong without education and care.[2]
A true other-lover is someone who loves people because of their humanity and out of pure human emotions, and whose love is free from self-interest and material gain. Such a love is a sign of elevated character and a hallmark of human beings. This type of love and care sets humans apart from animals, connects human societies, and binds people’s hearts with the threads of human love. It prevents individuals from reverting to animal instincts and offers them security and peace of mind. Additionally, true other-love creates an environment of peace and serenity, making life more pleasant and enjoyable.
Thus, whenever we can consciously love others, we will live in happiness and contentment. This medicine of love and friendship, which heals all pains and sorrows, has been prescribed by all divine prophets for centuries. In the sacred Islamic faith, the concept of other-love and caring for people has been given utmost attention, and religious leaders have regarded this virtue as one of the factors of “human happiness” and a means to “gain divine grace.”
As an example, Imam Musa al-Kadhim (peace be upon him) said:
“The people of the earth are continuously under divine mercy as long as they love each other, fulfill trusts, and act according to right and truth” [3].
The Islamic heavenly doctrine teaches that a truly useful and beneficial life is only achieved by balancing self-love and other-love properly. On one hand, individuals should be attentive to themselves and strive for spiritual development and material needs. On the other hand, they should be attentive to others, guiding them toward purity and virtue, and creating conditions for their happiness and well-being.
This is a divine prescription for alleviating the social issues of humanity, and now it’s our turn to decide… Are we going to use the teachings of the divine and apply its program, focusing our efforts on other-love and service to people, thereby bringing ourselves and others to happiness and prosperity? It’s wise to take a moment to reflect on our path for life forever…
(Adapted from the book “Youth; from the perspective of Reason and Emotions” by the late Hojjat al-Islam Mohammad Taghi Falsafi, with some abbreviations)
Footnotes:
[1] (Surah Al-Mujadila, verse 22)
[2] If parents and educators are attentive to children from an early age and fulfill their responsibilities well, they can gradually nurture this human trait within them and raise compassionate and well-wishing individuals.
[3] (Waram Collection, volume 1, page 12)”