Whom to Befriend

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Have you ever thought about whom you befriend, whom you have relations with, and how your life is affected by their characteristics and behaviors?

The truth is that there is no success without friendship relations. Friends are treasures which should be sought, and in order to find them, one should make effort to distinguish precious pearls from valueless rocks.

Friendship is a matter of selection and choosing. You cannot pick your friends randomly. Therefore, before accidents and coincidences choose friends for us based on improper criteria, we have to choose friends ourselves based on correct principles. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) has said,” People are on the religion of their friends. So beware of whom you choose as friends (1)”.

These delicate matters have caused people to go two extremes: some have decided not to have any friends and become secluded, while others have considered befriending as an entertainment, which has made them choose friends without having a common purpose. If we look carefully, we realize that both these methods are incorrect! Neither choosing friends randomly, nor becoming secluded from people is correct. So what should we do? What are the correct criteria for choosing friends?

At the time of Prophet Jesus (PBUH), some people had the same question. So they went to Prophet Jesus (PBUH) and asked him,” O Ruhullah (2)! Whom should be befriend?”

Prophet Jesus (PBUH) replied,” Befriend someone whose seeing reminds you of God, whose words increases your knowledge, and whose deeds encourages you towards the Hereafter…(3)”

The issue of befriending someone and having affection towards him is the most influential factor in changing one’s personality; therefore, if the selection of a friend is based on correct criteria, it will lead to guidance; however, if it is based on improper criteria, it may turn into a fire that destroys one’s life. If we look around ourselves carefully, we will find people whose seeing makes us forget Allah (SWT). On the other hand, there are people whose actions, deeds, characteristics, appearance, and behavior save us from negligence. The second group are those whose accompany reminds us of Allah (SWT), whose words open field of knowledge, and whose actions encourage us towards doing good.

It is appropriate to follow the instructions of Prophet Jesus (PBUH) on the eve of his birthday. Let us think with ourselves: Whom have we befriended? Whom are we relating to? How are they affecting our lives?

(The above is a selection taken from “Friendship and Friends”, by Hujjat al-Islam Sayyid Hadi Mudarrisi (with some additions))

The Roshd Website congratulates all monotheists of the world, especially you dear friend, upon the birthday anniversary of the clear sign of Allah (SWT) and His glad tidings, Prophet Jesus (PBUH).

Footnotes:

1. Amali of Tusi, p. 518- Mustadrak al-Wasa’il, vol. 8, p. 327

2. The spirit of Allah, the title of Prophet Jesus (PBUH)

3. Usul al-Kafi, vol. 1, p. 39

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