:Question<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Please explain the\nmain purpose one should seek in marriage, and mention the characteristics and\nspecifications of a spouse who could bring us to this goal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
:Answer<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The question you asked regarding the\npurpose of marriage and the characteristics of a spouse who could help one\nachieve this purpose, is an important issue that requires an elaborate and\nample discussion. Certainly in this process having knowledge about the person’s\ncharacteristics, morale, family situation, and much more can be very effective;\nhowever these aspects do not fit the scope of these pages. Upon studying this\nimportant and vital issue in the life of mankind, the Islamic scholars spend\nmonths and various sessions discussing and debating this issue. As you may\nalready be aware, various books have been written about this topic. Thus, we\nonly have the opportunity to discuss some general aspects of this topic in the\nfollowing answer. However, it would be our utmost pleasure to assist you\nfurther for any ambiguities in this answer or any other specific point you\nwould like more information on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
An eternal destination<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not only in marriage, but also in all\nother stages of life, one should have a major goal, namely to obey Allah (SWT)\nand to gain proximity towards Him. This is mainly because any other goal is\ntransient and futile, and will eventually experience annihilation. However, if\na person chooses to obey Allah (SWT) and lives his life according to the divine\nlaws, the result of his acts will not be limited to only this world. Because his deeds have been interwoven with\nthe eternal nature of Allah (SWT), he will benefit from the results of his\ndeeds ever after. Moreover, such deeds bring him a step closer to Allah (SWT),\nthe absolute perfection. The holy Quran repeatedly reminds us of this path:\n“All that is on earth will perish, but will abide (for ever) the Face of\nyour Lord, full of Majesty, Bounty and Honor (1)”, or “(Get the) color\nof Allah (Faith and Monotheism and Islam). And who can baptize better than\nAllah? (2)”\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Thinking and acting in this way might\nbe a new experience for us, and might even sound strange and unachievable, but\nit is not impossible. Through following this method, a new world will appear to\nus, and perhaps we could view a scene of the paradise in this world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Together, in the way of the Beloved<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Since marriage is one of the most\ncritical stages of the human life and plays a major role in both the physical\nand spiritual aspects of life, setting a goal in marriage has greater\nimportance than many other matters in life. Islamic instructions have taught us\nto select obedience and proximity to Allah (SWT), as the goal of marriage. In practice this means to set the goal in life\nto help one another to serve and obey Allah (SWT); in such a life both would\nseek the satisfaction of Allah (SWT), and aim to perform His obligations in all\ninstances of life as they help each other in this respect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If our lives are built in this manner,\nthe love and kindness towards our spouse increases every moment; as a result\nand based on what was mentioned before, such a life will not be transient. Even\nthe Infallible Imams (PBUT) have stated that such a union will not be broken\neven in heaven; such a spouse will be more glorious than Hur al-Ein(3). <\/p>\n\n\n\n
A spouse like this\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Your second question can also be\nanswered based on what was said above. \nFor a spouse to be able to help his\/her mate in this way, he\/she should\nhave also been able to freely and consciously select such a goal, out of all\nother possible goals that different people choose for their lives. The\nsignificant feature of these individuals is their sincere efforts in piety and\nrestraint from the unlawful acts that Allah (SWT) has forbade.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But how could we practically examine\nsuch characteristics in our future spouse? We have to pay attention to the fact\nthat the family of our future spouse plays a significant role in his\/her morale\nand mentality. It is advantageous if within the family, organization and mutual\nunderstanding exists. In other words, the father aside from his closeness to\nthe family is considered a powerful manager, and the mother protects and\nremains in her kind and loving position during the difficulties and shortcomings\nof life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Based on this aspect and apart from\nthe effects of society, the main structure of the boy’s character is similar to\nthat of his father’s character, and the character of the girl is similar to\nthat of her mother’s character. Therefore, one can get a feel of his\/her\nspouse’s character and goals by investigating his\/her parent’s character.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Another way of knowing your future\nspouse is to research about the person and family from the friends and\nacquaintances of that family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Besides all these, it is noteworthy to\nmention that beauty and elegance is important, but should be considered in the\nsecond stage of this process. This is mainly because one has to deal more with\nthe morality and character of his\/her spouse than his\/her beauty or even\nacademic degree. We can easily learn this fact if we research our surroundings;\nhow often we may find that despite the fact that many couples have high\nacademic degrees and or special qualities, they still experience a dark and\nstrained marriage life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hence, there remains no doubt that the\ndepth of love and its endurance depends on our intention in marriage. So the\ndeepest goals make the strongest relations. If both sides set a divine goal for\nthemselves, it is obvious that they will do their best to move towards their\ngoal and help each other along the way. \nLove and kindness is definitely deeper and stronger in such a life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The most beautiful union, the deepest\nlove<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A good example of this beautiful and\naffectionate life is the life of Amir al-Mu’minin and Lady Fatimah (PBUT). As a\ntestimony to what was previously discussed, it is worth mentioning a short\nscene from their life; a life that its main cause of unity was the love for\nAllah (SWT) and the consistent goal in life was to seek His satisfaction.\nNothing else would interfere with this goal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Once the Prophet Muhammad\n(PBUH&HP) visited Amir al-Mu’minin (PBUH) and Lady Fatimah (PBUH) after\ntheir marriage. The holy Prophet asked Amir al-mu’min: “How do you find\nFatimah?” Amir al-Mu’minin (PBUH) replied: “She is a good helper in\nobeying Allah.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Holy Prophet then asked Lady\nFatimah (PBUH) about Amir al-Mu’minin (PBUH). She said: “He is the best\nhusband.” After hearing this, Prophet (PBUH&HP) raised his hands and\nprayed: “O Allah! Unite them and join their hearts; make them and their\nprogeny the heirs of heaven; honor them with a purified and blessed\nprogeny. Bestow abundant blessings upon\ntheir progeny and appoint them as Imams who guide people to obey you and\ncommand based on your satisfaction.”(4)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is also remarkable that they did\nnot put aside their normal life and solely stick to worshiping, but they used\nto live normally as other spouses and parents do. However, their mere purpose\nof eating, sleeping, working, and all other efforts in life, was to be able to\nobey Allah (SWT) and achieve His satisfaction; they only saw Him and thought\nonly of Him. Thus, the secret behind their deep love for each other was this.\nThis is the satisfaction of Allah (SWT) that unites the strongest bonds among\nbeings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Considering carefully, it is\ninteresting that although Lady Fatimah (PBUH) had numerous virtues and\naccomplishments, when Amir al-Mu’minin (PBUH) describes her, he states\n“her assistance in the way of obeying Allah (SWT)” as her highest\nvirtue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Marriage, peace and tranquility in all\nrespects<\/p>\n\n\n\n
By having such an attitude towards\nmarriage, the practical result that the holy Quran states for marriage would be\nacquired completely: peace and tranquility in all aspects of life. As you may\nalready be aware, in the 30th chapter of the holy Quran, Allah (SWT) introduces\ntranquility and peace as the purpose of marriage:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“And among\nHis Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that\nyou may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between\nyour (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.”(5)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Since Allah (SWT) has not specified\nany constraints or limitations for this tranquility, it is understood that the\ntranquility applies to all aspects of life. In other words, after marriage, the\ntwo spouses will achieve tranquility in terms of financial, social, physical,\nand most important of all the spiritual aspects; their agitations and unrest\nwould turn into peace and tranquility.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Naturally one of the motives in\nmarriage is achieving such peace and tranquility, for everyone finds some sort\nof agitation and impatience within him\/herself before marriage. However, if one\nseeks to obey Allah (SWT) and gain closeness to Him, he will achieve deeper\ntranquility and peace than all the others. As mentioned by the holy Quran, what\nreally quenches the thirst of one’s nature is obeying and remembering Allah\n(SWT).(6)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A fine start, an introduction to the\npath<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In spite of all these facts, it should\nbe noted that selecting an appropriate spouse, with all its importance, is only\nhalf of the way. In fact, selecting a proper spouse does not suffice; one also\nhas to live proper and stand beside him\/her in all the incidents of life.\nPaying attention to this fact has an important role in bringing happiness and\nprosperity to the life. Therefore, let us chose a divine goal for ourselves and\nlive as He wishes in every moment of our lives.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
:Question Please explain the main purpose one should seek in marriage, and mention the characteristics and specifications of a spouse who could bring us to this goal. :Answer The question you asked regarding the purpose of marriage and the characteristics of a spouse who could help one achieve this purpose, is an important issue […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28250],"tags":[18176,18181,18179,17890,18177,18178,18180,18041,18175],"class_list":["post-3891","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-questions","tag-ethics","tag-fine","tag-goal","tag-life","tag-marriage","tag-mention","tag-question","tag-questions","tag-the-purpose-of-marriage-the-characteristics-of-the-spouse"],"yoast_head":"\n